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1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR!

2. If he drops a thousand dollar, he won't even bother to pick it up bcoz the 4 seconds he picks it, he would've already earned it back.

3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion, if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10 years.

4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but still be left with US$5 Million for his pocket money.

5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. If he doesn't drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now.

6. If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the 37th richest country on earth.

7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes, you can make a road from earth to moon, 14 times back and forth. But you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money.

8. Bill Gates is 40 this year. If we assume that he will live for another 35 years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish all his money before he can go to heaven.

9. Last but not the least: If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years !!!!!!! !

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

I tick yes on no 2, 3, 4, 6(a big yes) , 7 (somewhat) , 8, 10, 11, 12, 14, 15. The rest I am yet to experience.

When NASA first started sending astronauts up,
they quicky discovered that
ball pens won't work in zero gravity.
.
To overcome this problem
NASA spent a decade
and 15 million dollars to develop a pen
that writes in
zero gravity,
upside down,
under water,
virtually in any condition on any surface
including glass
and
at temperature ranging
from below freezing to 300 degree celsius.
.
.
.
.
.
The Russians used a pencil.

1E001629

1E124678

1E314166

1E361232

1E569866

1E903457

1fce94.jpg

Yenna Rascalaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Best movie of the millennium

THE VILLU STORY:

Vijays dad was killed by the villain, and his mother needs an operation! So he sells his land for his mother ! Inorder to take revenge, Vijay (Villu) has to go to America to kill the villain, but he has no money, no passport and no visa! So he decides one thing and comes to Chennai !

In Chennai, Villu climbs on top of LIC Building, gets blessings from Godess Kuruvi, and jumps from the top floor!!!

But our Villu stays in air itself in same position! After 12 hrs, the earth rotates and since he is still in the same position, he jumps and lands in America! He kills the villain and returns to Chennai the same way!!!!

SUP???

bear

Love the fourth shot.

Too Close!

closeenough

Emil said after taking this pic “This is as it came off my camera, They were flying in formation and had permission from the Aviation Authorities for the Airshow. It was even more scary taking photographs and suddenly not knowing what was going on because you are watching through the cameras view finder.

But yes it was very spectacular, will put another photo up soon.

Emil Watson”

Photo by emil_watson via Panoramio

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss
are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says,
"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted,
"I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,
"I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

Technorati Tags: , ,



I wonder if Google Employees really use Gmail on Google Chrome too. (I bet they don't :D) . Hey Google you gotta admit that Firefox is better! DISMISS

So IT Was MJ!!!


And all these years I wondered was it really the cologne!!!

Baniya Jokes

Baniya: Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de

Baniya on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I’m here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D :D:D

Baniya 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!

Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay:)

Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho “Chacha Guzar Gaye”.
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do….. Acha likho……. ……… .
Chacha Guzar Gaye – Maruti for Sale .

Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.

Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga

Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda

Fame Vs Skilled Required


So true ... so damn true :D

Via Surviving the world

Tic-Tags: Funny Pictures, ROLF, Paris Hilton

Nobody Wants To Play With Me

Swine Flu gets to all :) :) in a good way


Via lvs2ridehorses on Flickr

Tic-Tags: Swipe Flu, funny picture, Winnie the Pooh



Found on Digg

Tic-Tags: Cool Picture, Amazing Picture, Awesome Picture, Airport

Zoozoo Wedding Invite


Via Mayurn from Twitpic


Whoa! They are talking about his BAT!!!
Via Mayur on Twitpic

Subtle Little Hints

Zebra Nudist Colony

video

The Paradigm Shift !!!!!


Poor Software Engineers, first companies turn you down, then prospects turn you down, pretty sucked up situation. (Click on the picture for a better view)

Again, I am not on BharatMatrimony.com and even if I was I would not be searching for female matches.

Funny and weird things happen everywhere. Just when I thought 'nothing new is happening' I get directed here

Twitter search for #3stalkerwords

Twitter Search for #3wordsaftersex
Twitter Search for #3wordsbeforesex
Twitter Search for #3wordsduringsex

If you are on twitter you would know what hashtag means. If you are not on twitter then you should be there. Nothing much to write here, you just gotta check the links.

Then

Now


Via ShikhaMagic




My Fav part, when the kitties escape from the holes :D

From the author: We had a lot of fun making this video and so did the kittens. *PLEASE NOTE THAT NO KITTENS WERE INJURED IN THE MAKING OF THIS VIDEO.*


My fav 0.49... Spat! Killed a fly!!! :D :D :D


Shaun Smith singing aint no sunshine (one of my favs) in Britains Got Talent, Episode 5.

Airtel Viral - Thakur ki Shaadi

I just had a can of coke and come across this heartbreaking site Sugar Stacks, which shows that a single can of coke contains some odd 9 sugar cubes in it. I feel so guilty now and would not be able to have dinner tonight.

You want some motivation or rather 'demotivation' to skip dinner, then do visit this site. It also shows the sugar content in some other food stuff that we have in our day today life.

Yesterday a minor fire at Pitampura metro Station caused mayhem at Delhi Metro Dilshad Garden-Rithala Line. The metros were delayed by approximately two hours. Fire can happen anywhere and anytime. It is not the fire that forced me to write this post but the lack of common sense of the metro officials.

A single journey metro token is valid for approximately an hour after it has been swiped at the start point of ones journey. My close friend boarded the metro from Dilshad Garden at 5:50, she reached Pitampura metro station at 7:45, till then her token had expired and she could not get out. My friend and many others requested the metro officials at the Pitampura station to open the way as an exception because of the fire. Did the metro people use their common sense, NO they didn’t. They said that they didn’t have the right authority to open the exit way. Then who gave them the authority to stop people from going home after most of them sat in the metro for 2 hours. Agitated passengers tried to talk sense into metro officials but as I said common sense is not so common after all, rest of the story I am sure you will figure out.

Tags : DMRC, Delhi Metro, Fire, Pitampura, Metro Station, 21 April 2009

Very Funny Seat Belt Ad

video
LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ


This is soooo obnoxious. If they have the cheek to film a video then should have had the commonsense of not posting it on youtube. The firing is well deserved.












































(Click on the image for the bigger picture)
Via PCworld

The Odd And The Cool

Oddee.com is a cool and odd website that gathers info about the cool and the odd stuff happening around the globe.

Some of the articles that truly amazed me:

10 Dumbest Criminals
10 Most Creative Ice Cube Trays
15 of the World's Largest Objects
10 Coolest USB Accessories
12 Most Bizarre ID Cards and Passport Photos

Go on and be amazed!

I don't know how they did it. But somehow a spam site called http://contactofindia.com managed to send a spam mail from my email ID to most of my contact list. I am annoyed but do not know what to do about it. If I add this email to the phishing list, then I end up adding myself in the list since I am the unfortunate sender. I have changed my account settings and hope that the same doesn't happen again.

(Click on the screenshot for the bigger picture and notice how the sender ID is mine)

Slideshare.net a slide sharing site played an April Fool's prank on its users. They somehow fudged with the view counts on the slides and informed the users via email that they are SlideShare Rockstars. Also, they prompted the users to brag about their achievements on twitter along with #bestofslideshare, so that later they could track how many people fell for this prank.

Some people found it funny and acted cool. But I must say that many were annoyed and have criticised Slideshare pretty heavily on twitter and the net in general. For those who have serious slides on Slideshare it might have been pretty embarassing for them and their annoyance can be pretty must justified. Slideshare reps Jonathan and Dan are trying very hard to console their users

Hope slideshare.net recovers from this fast. A lesson well learnt for other social sharing sites.

Check out this SlideShare Presentation on Twitter:


I am a true Delhite from heart and from soul. There is no place better than Delhi. I have been born and brought up here and I have never hesitated in saying that Delhi is my home, I have been to other places but Delhi is where I want to be all my life. (PS by Delhi I mean the NCR as well… Noida and Gurgoan)

5 things I love about Delhi

  1. The Street food: Yum, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. Hot steaming momos with the chilly sauce from numerous Chinese vans. Chicken rolls at Khan Chachas. Maggi at Tom Uncle, DU. Bombay bhel at South Ex. Banta stalls found at almost all markets. Pav Bhaji at Rajori. Do I even have to say anymore. N yes the Gol gappas, how could I forget them. N also the tikki from BTW, Netaji Subhash Place. OMG, the list it endless. And I know I would keep going on and on about it so I better move to the next thing.
  2. The Nightlife: Manre, Elevates, Fbar and Aura are some of my favorites. Getting tipsy and sneaking back to a friend’s home always pumps up my spirit.
  3. Flea markets: Sarojini Nagar market, Janpath, Lajpat Nagar I love them love them love them. Hanging out with my friends, looking for cheap bargains, and bargaining with the shopkeepers to reduce the price (I am really bad at that, so I prefer going there with a friend who is good at bargaining)
  4. The Hangouts: Delhi Haat, CP, GK 1, Saket. Just strolling along the lanes doing nothing, window shopping and occasional shopping. My fav place is Delhi Haat.
  5. The Malls and Movie halls: The malls and movie halls have now over crowded the city in a good way. There are four good movie falls about two kilometers or maybe three from where I live. Nothing beats the blues more than catching a movie at a movie hall. And even better is the careless stroll inside the mall after the movie is over. I at times enjoy watching movies on my own, though my friends and family fail to understand why, and so do I.
5 things I hate about Delhi

  1. The heat and cold: I hate the extreme winters cause I hate wearing sweaters. The scorching heat in the summer just gets on to my head. I love rains though, it gets muddy, but I still love them.
  2. The auto walas: They never fail to get on my nerves. Especially if I have to travel to an NCR from Delhi.
  3. The traffic: Everywhere I look, there are flyovers under construction. One is over the construction for other one starts. And the traffic jams caused due to them just sucks.
  4. The ‘under the table’ cops: If you ask me I haven’t met a single person who has never bribed a cop. Everyday I see atleast one cop without helmet going from the wrong side. So much for the law makers.
  5. The beggars: they should be called ‘the buggers’. They are a big nuisance in city.
All and all there are good things and there are bad things about Delhi. But I still love this city.

"The 67 ft statue was to be erected as a tribute in a film sequence by a Bollywood director. But the installation was halted after protests from members of the nationalist BJP party who claimed it "hurt Hindu sentiment".

Activists in Udupi, near Bangalore, told the director, Hemant Hegde, that they would not allow the statue because Chaplin was a Christian, and that any statue would have to honour the Hindu guru Swami Vivekananda instead." (Via Telegraph)

"The Chaplin sculpture, which would have shown him in his baggy trousers and bowler hat, was being built at a cost of about 3.5 million rupees (£48,600) near the town of Udupi, the site of several important Hindu temples. It was to form part of a set for a dance routine in a film but work ground to a halt when Hindu activists chased the workers away and buried the materials." (Via Timesonline)

"Meanwhile film director Hemanth Hegde told CNN-IBN that he had the clearance from the Tourism department. The objections to a christians statue near a temple may force him to shift the location to Karwar. "They said we can't see Chaplin's statue and then go the temple, I asked why, they said because he is Christian. I have seen Om beach at Gokaran and a beach at Karawar and I will finalise one of them for the shoot," said Hegde.

However, the state Home Minister Dr V S Acharya is against it. "There's no place for all statues like that and it will be a problem till the picture is over," said state Acharya. Clearly, there is no place for Hollywood's renowned comedians statue in Karnataka." (Via IBNLIVE)

My thoughts: Comeon people it is just a statue of a great comedian, he aint hurting anyone and I guess he never did. I loved Charlie Chaplin as a kid and am sure that generations to come will love him too. And clearly people who say there is no place for Charlie should rethink their own religious beliefs. And people who say that they can't see Charlie's statue and go to the temple should stop looking at themselves in the mirror before going to the temple. Charlie you were/are/will be a hero with or without a statue.

Limca Ad


I am not much of a Limca girl but I simply adore this ad/song :) makes me feel lovey-dovey every time.

Prize Winning Ads


Batman Bollywood Istyle. BaatMaan Viral by Gaadi.com, made by webchutney guys.

Welcome To Our OOL


Via SumiSumi

#CASE 1
Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

#CASE 2
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

#CASE 3
Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.

#CASE 4
Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.

#CASE 5
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it."

#CASE 6
Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad : "That happens in most countries son."

#CASE 7
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

#CASE 8
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes

#CASE 9
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair ?

#CASE 10
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

#CASE 11
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the Husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

#CASE 12
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified : "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

#CASE 13
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or his wife is new.

#CASE 14
A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A Billionaire."


Click on the comic for the big picture

BharatMatrimony.com comes up with a new slang "Dicount".
To BM: "I like the dicounts you give to ur users, ur dicounts are more interesting than the baldies on your site, ur dicounts rock!!!"

PS I am not registered on BharatMatrimony.com, a friend forwarded it to me, don't get any weird ideas.

LOLZ

ABCD - Mumbai Ishtyle


Z for Zakaas isnt it?

Funny Wedding Moments



Its not yet first april, but you can still play this prank on your friends. Ask you friends to call on this number 09371272497 by saying that someone was asking for them. Say it is urgent. When they will call on this number they will be greeted by an unruly female accusing your friend of sending her smses and calling her at odd times... the best part of the call comes when the female hands over the phone to her brother and he starts talking aggressively. Your friend might get scared for a short while.

The sms that I sent everyone read
"Someone was asking about you from this number 09371272497, call asap, seems urgent."

Mens Scorecard


In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans(-15)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???



Sardar's Flat Screen TV

Something you must have never seen before :)


A very funny viral by Tatasky Ek Ruka Hua Faisla. Must See!!!


Al Zeidi would not have known that tossing a show at Prez Bush will bring him so much of honor. A sofa-sized statue of the shoe was unveiled in Tikrit, the hometown of the former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein, commemorating the grand day when Al Zeidi did the unimaginable. The statue would have been something if it would have been complemented with a statue of Bush's head right next to it :) .The full Story at NYDailyNews

Few days back I was Googling for Follow Me On Twitter badges and buttons and came across a horde of them. Sharing my find with you

Limeshot.com has a collection of cute looking Twitter badges that are similar to the pink one of the left only the color and backgrounds are different. My Twitter badge came from this site. Simple and sweet.


Siahdesign.com has a collection of these adorable Twitter badges in Gif. I love the walking bird.

Hongkiat.com has a huge collection of twitter badges and buttons from several sites. Some of the badges are are downright hilarious and some of them are weird, but all in all a good collection.



RandaClay.com If you are looking for something simple and business like then this site is just right for you. You will find some nice badges with the Twitter theme on this site.


Now for the Twitter Tips. If you are trying to increase your fan following on twitter then this post is must for you... Ten Ways To Increase Your Twitter Followers. This is a great post if you are serious about making it big on Twitter.com.